Fooled You
by Victorious-Mind
Summary: We all know Ed hates milk. So what happens when Alphonse lets that little fact slip to Roy Mustang and his team? CHAOS.


A/N: Alright, I've read a few fics where the team forces Ed to drink milk and then BOOM, Edward turns out to be allergic or lactose intolerant or something… But this story won't have that! IT WILL BE DIFFERENT! Hehee… *laughs evilly*

ENJOY!

* * *

Fooled You

There was a knock on Roy Mustang's door.

Everyone's heads turned.

"Yes?" Roy Mustang asked. "Come in."

It was Al.

"Alphonse?" Hawkeye asked.

"Um…hi…" Al said, bowing.

"Where's your brother?" Mustang questioned him, since it was rare for the boy in the armor to be seen without his older brother.

"Someone spilled milk on him in the hall." Al said. "He went home to change. You see, he really hates milk." He explained.

"Hates milk?" Havoc echoed, a thought already forming in his head.

"What happened to the soldier who spilled milk on him?" Breda wondered out loud.

"Broken nose." Al said sadly. "And yeah, brother really hates milk. I never saw him drink it. He says he's not going to drink some liquid secreted from a cow."

An evil smirk appeared on Mustang's face. "I have an idea."

* * *

Edward knocked on the door to the Colonel's office.

"Come in." came the voice.

Ed slowly opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him. Though the sight confused him.

The room was empty.

He heard the noise behind him a millisecond too late.

Someone grabbed his midsection, while two hands took hold of his arms.

He brought his head back, clearly hitting someone in the face.

"Argh, chief, that hurt-"

"HAVOC?!" Ed asked, and kicked whoever was holding him.

"OW!"

"Breda? Hughes? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! LET GO!" he struggled.

Someone walked in front of him. "Let go of me- Colonel Bastard?"

Roy's smirk nearly slipped when he heard Ed call him a bastard but he kept his calm. "Hello Fullmetal." He said smugly. "I heard from your brother that you haven't been drinking milk." He started and Ed immediately ceased his struggle. He looked around, eyes suddenly filled with anger.

"ALPHONSE!" He screamed, making sure everyone in the headquarters heard him. "Get over here you little brat, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

The three soldiers holding Ed grimaced. Even Roy Mustang's eyes widened. It wasn't normal for Ed to get angry at his baby brother.

"Little brat?" Hughes repeated. "Who are you talking about? Yourself?"

Ed turned around to glare at him, the glint in his eyes scaring Hughes. "For your information, Alphonse is shorter than me in his actual body! NOW LET GO!" Ed yelled.

Roy Mustang walked towards his desk, ignoring the yells and struggles, and the cries of pains from his friend and subordinates. "Anyways, since you're so short, we decided to give you a little bit of help." Mustang said. He turned around and he was holding a glass half full of milk. He walked towards Ed with a smirk in his face.

"Bastard!" Ed yelled. "There's no way I'll drink that-ARGH!" Edward began struggling again as Roy pinched his cheek and tried to peer open his mouth. Ed immediately clamped his mouth shut.

"Aww," Roy said. He pinched Edward's nose, hoping the lack of air would make him open his mouth.

Ed did open his mouth, but his teeth were still clamped shut. He was breathing through his teeth.

Roy scowled. He was good. "Geez, so stubborn. It's only half a glass."

He let of Ed's nose and suddenly punched him on the stomach. Edward knelt down as the breath was knocked out of him. Knowing that Ed was in a state of shock at the moment, Roy knew it was his chance and emptied the glass down his throat. Later, he clamped his hand over Ed's mouth, so that he wouldn't spit it out.

As Edward swallowed it, Breda, Hughes and Havoc let go, leaving Ed on the ground, choking.

"Bastard…" Edward said. "How dare you…"

Roy smirked. "Come on, Fullmetal. I help you and that is how you treat me?"

_Help me?_

And that's when Ed got a bright idea.

* * *

Hughes stared at Edward, knelt on the floor, still coughing. "You really hate it that much?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Suddenly, Ed collapsed on his side, and started wheezing. He grabbed his midsection and curled on himself.

"Uh…chief?"

Edward gave a hateful glare to all of them. "I won't ever…forgive you over this…" he said in a raspy voice. "Not ever…"

Mustang's eyes slightly widened. "Cut the act, Fullmetal. It was just a joke. Get up."

But then Ed began shaking. He was trembling.

"I-I can't b-breathe…" he said. "It hurts…It hurts, It hurts…"

Hughes ran towards Ed at those words, while Havoc followed.

Roy stayed frozen. "Fullmetal..?"

"I can't…I can't breathe… I think I'm…I think I'm dying!" Ed wheezed.

Roy's eyes widened as he knelt beside Edward. "Ed…Ed?!"

Breda tried to open the door. It didn't budge.

"Damn it!"

Roy slowly shifted Ed on to his back while Edward shut his eyes, whimpering.

"Ed, tell me, can you breathe?" he asked, worried, eyes full of panic. "Damn it, can't you open the door?!"

"Barely." Ed replied, coughing and trembling.

"Is he allergic?" Hughes asked fearfully.

"I…I'm never going to forgive you over this… How dare you… I'm dying…"

Havoc was starting to freak out. "Chief, p-please! Don't s-say that! You'll be fine!"

Roy felt Ed's pulse. "It's normal."

"I can feel it slipping away…" Ed coughed. "Mr. Hughes?"

"Y-Yes?" Hughes asked, sweating like crazy as if the temperature in the room had just rose.

"Will you tell Al I'm sorry?" Ed whispered, eyes half open.

"Fullmetal!" Roy yelled. He brought his hands to his head. "What do we do? What do we do?!" he looked around. "Breda, do something and break that door!" he yelled. "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY GLOVES, DAMNIT?!" He looked back to Ed. "E-Edward…we're sorry…We're really sorry… You're going to be okay, I promise!"

Then Edward went limp and his eyes rolled behind his head.

"Ed…?"

"Chief? Chief, say something…"

"Boss, I-is he…?"

"FULLMETAL!"

A metal fist rose and hit Roy squarely on the jaw, knocking him backwards.

Before anyone could tell what was happening, another punch hit Hughes in the stomach. A leg kicked Breda's feet under him and a kick hit Havoc on the chest, knocking the breath out of him.

Once everyone was on the floor, Edward slowly got up from the floor and brushed himself off. He sighed. "That felt great. You should have seen your faces…" he said to himself.

All four men raised their heads from the floor.

"Fullmetal?" Roy asked, totally dumbstruck.

"Chief?" Havoc mumbled, once he caught is throat.

"You-you're fine?" Hughes asked, holding his stomach.

Ed smirked. "Hey, Colonel Bastard, how's your face feeling?" he asked smugly.

It took a while for everyone to understand that Ed was faking everything.

"You little brat!" Roy yelled, face-red.

"You freaked the crap out of us! I was about to have a heart attack!" Havoc said, breathing heavily.

Edward shrugged. "Well, you did force me to drink that disgusting liquid." He grinned once again. "So you kinda deserved it. I have to say…" he started, turning towards Mustang. "I kinda feel bad for you, Colonel. Just think of all the girls that'll run away when they see the bruise on your face.

Roy gasped and brought a hand to his face. "Havoc." He said, not breaking eye contact. "Get me my gloves. NOW."

"I don't know where they are, sir." Jean replied.

Ed laughed evilly, holding out the Colonel's ignition gloves in front of his face. He transmuted the door that he had locked beforehand and opened it. "Buh-bye!" he yelled and began running.

"Edward, you get the hell back here!" Roy yelled and began running after him.

Hughes sighed. "Ed's a good actor, I really fell for that." He mumbled.

"He hits hard too." He said, rubbing his chest.

"I wonder when he locked that door…" Breda asked.

Alphonse peeked his head inside. "Is brother gone?" he whispered fearfully.

"Yes." Hughes replied.

"Can you tell him I'm sorry when he gets back? He's going to kill me…"

"Didn't you see him, Al?" Jean wondered.

Alphonse pointed to the window. Ed was still running with Mustang close behind him. Edward covered behind a tree as Roy made a grab for him. Even though they were so far away, all of them could see the smirk in Ed's face and the anger in Roy's eyes.

Though under it, they were all having fun.

* * *

A/N: *yawn* I hope you enjoyed that. I typed it all in one sitting like I usually do. Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW AND THANKS FOR READING! See you next time! Remember…Pride is always watching you! ;D


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